10-08-2025
19-Year-Old Wants to Go ‘Low Contact' with Family After Years of Being Compared to Her More Extroverted Twin Sister
'No matter how well I do, it is never as good as my sister. No matter how poorly she does, it is always better than me,' the teenager saidNEED TO KNOW
A 19-year-old woman has spent her entire life being compared to her twin sister
Her family continued to push the "be more like your sister" narrative even once she began to surpass her sibling academically
"I've made the very tough decision to go very low contact with my family because I just cannot deal with the stress of constant comparison," the teen wrote on RedditA 19-year-old woman is reducing contact with her family after years of being made to feel that she could never live up to their expectations.
On Monday, Aug. 4, the teenager explained in a post on Reddit's AITAH that she was constantly compared to her extroverted twin sister while growing up. She said her sibling was a 'living example of who I needed to become,' but she couldn't help but struggle with her grades and had difficulty making friends.
The OP (original poster) revealed that it wasn't until she was diagnosed with autism at university that she was able to surpass her sister academically.
'I found a house to stay in, two well-paying jobs, and I support myself entirely,' OP said. 'My sister, on the other hand, blows all her money on booze and refuses to get a job as it would interfere with her studies.'
The teen explained that when she tried to share her accomplishments with her family, they told her to keep quiet to avoid upsetting her sister.
She said they defended her sister's drinking and drugs as part of her 'having a hard time' in university, while accusing her of 'cheating' to achieve her grades.
'They've continued to push the 'be more like your sister, and be normal' narrative,' OP said. 'When it came to friends, my sister would be out drinking and partying every night, while I would be in my room studying."
'They praised her for being social and making connections,' she continued. 'I have not made many extroverted friends in my time so far. My father uses this against me as proof that she is doing better."
'My whole life has been a sibling rivalry and I have just had enough,' she added. 'No matter how well I do, it is never as good as my sister. No matter how poorly she does, it is always better than me.'
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The teen said going 'very low contact' with her family has been a difficult decision to make, but feels necessary to keep her from stress.
'If they want me to be her, they can just have her,' she said. 'A part of me feels immense guilt because my father has always claimed he does this so I can succeed. Am I making the right choice?'
Responses to the post attempted to reassure the teenager that she was making the right decision, as the constant comparison could negatively affect her mental health.
'NTA [not the a------] Your mental health and happiness are much more important than anything. Your parents suck. Live your best life,' one person said.
'Yes, this is the best choice. This is a golden child/scapegoat situation,' another commented. 'Sis is the golden child and will never do wrong. She could rob a bank and they would defend her, make her the victim and somehow make it your fault."
'If your father was doing this to make you succeed, he would do the same to your sister AND he would acknowledge you are succeeding,' the same person continued. 'Instead, he is showing his true nature by continually dragging you. NTA. Do not bear the guilt in this. They (parents) gave you this guilt as a means to justify their toxic actions. Stop carrying it and put it down.'
Read the original article on People
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